WOW! It has been a minute since I have posted on my blog. I am feeling the deep need to reflect - so here goes. I sort of hate to reflect on some issues and allow the world to watch and listen. However, I do believe that my struggles aren't particular to myself. Therefore, they may help others.
First, I have been reflecting a lot upon my "call." I am reading a book entitled 45 Days To the Work You Love. This book has really prodded me towards the intense and often asked question about my existence. I have found the book so amazing that I have already given away three copies. "To Glorify God through the making and maturing of believers through the preaching of God's Word." I have been reflecting on this motto and mission a lot. Accomplishing it or not? Sensitive enough to it or not? Willing to sacrifice for it or not? Willing to make it central and paramount in my life?
Second, I have begun implementing an intentional plan to sand down some rough edges. I have realized that unless I have some pointed assistance in my life I will never accomplish the things God has established for me to tackle. Therefore, I have found a mentor. This is something I have resisted. I think my youthful enthusiasm had me fooled into believing that I didn't need any pinpoint guidance. Second, I have started reading in some subjects that I have neglected for many years. One of the these subjects is leadership. Since my experience in the U. S. Army I have believed that leaders are not constructed and developed, but instead born. This led to this wrong conclusion because I saw so many "great" leaders that seemed to simply be born to do so, and so many "bad" leaders that seemed to be beyond help. Therefore, I have simply neglected trying to become a better leader. I assumed I either had it or didn't. After investigating my own life and asking my wife and close friends what would make me a better minister and pastor I have been led to work on the following: resolve and leadership. By the way, their answers were painful, but worth every minute of discussion. I guess I should ask those that represent my former ministry position. I did inquire with one former church member. His answer is appreciated and will be taken under advisement. Third, I continue to work on a Master of Public Administration with a specialization in nonprofit management. These studies are helping me with strategy, leadership, and are making me a more effective public servant in my current ministry setting.
Why am I sharing all this with you? That is a valid and appropriate question. First, I want people to understand that you must continue to work on yourself. We all need to be better husbands, wives, moms, dads, co-Workers, and Kingdom Citizens. I think too often we feel like a ship that has been set out to sea and we are drifting upon uncharted waters. Often we need to pull out the map, observe the situation, and ensure we are "drifting" in the proper direction. Don't simply go through life without examining it and yourself. Second, I hope this prods you to simply THINK! Think about your existence, your place and role in and for the Kingdom, and how you can bring Glory to God through your passions.
My life has been dramatically challenged in the last couple of months. Over the last 4 months I have questioned the very purpose of the last 14 years. I have allowed "people and things" to creep into sacred places in my life and challenge my God given passions. I have allowed circumstances to overshadow my supernatural calling and equipping. The cloud of uncertainty is lifting. Passions are being restored! Purposes are being renewed! God is blessing regardless of perception! I am on the journey again!
