First-step to Avoiding Conflict

The first step towards avoiding conflict is something that sounds simple and easy, but is very difficult to put into practice...

OVERLOOK MINOR OFFENSES

This can be a painful step.  We often feel that we are the most important person in the world.  This is because we are self-centered and selfish due to the sin of pride.  Sometimes offenses that are minor might be made much larger because our pride and ego are offended.  If we are going to avoid conflict this is the first step for a believer.  Before we boldly confront the sinner with our righteous indignation, we should ask if the offense has risen to the level of confrontation.  Our pride and ego being offended might not be enough to enact Matthew 18 and church discipline.  In fact, the first place for us to begin is with the spiritual question – are we mature enough to get over this offense?

Paul said in Colossians 3:13 that we should bear “with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.” 

It should be noted that not every offense is something we should intentionally overlook.  There are sins that are committed between two persons that are not considered minor and cannot be overlooked.  In these instances, it is appropriate and biblical to follow the biblical model provided in Matthew 18.

“Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.” Proverbs 19:11   

There are two keys step to overlooking minor offenses.  First, we must seek resolution in prayer.   Through prayer we must determine if the offense is worthy of bringing before the entire Body of Christ.  If the Matthew 18 process is initiated, that is the potential culmination of the process.  Second, we must forgive.   We must begin with forgiving the person that offended us.  The person that offended us might not even know they have offended us.  If the offense is minor and we forgive, the offense might never occur again.